Feeling Anxious, Full of Self Doubt? It's time to be discipled
Be Discipled
This series emphasizes the importance of discipleship in your leadership and spiritual development.
Books
Be Different: Finding the Resilience to Lead
"For someone already into ministry, this book contains helpful clarity on differentiation as well as how to nurture an identity in Christ to withstand the storms of life that come."
"One of my favorite aspects was how the entire book was shot through with applicable Scriptures that build on a Biblically-differentiated self."
Available in Paperback, Hard Cover, Kindle, and Audible Versions.
Key Themes
Identity in Christ: Resilient leadership starts with knowing who you are as God created and redeemed you to be.
Differentiation of Self: Staying true to your values and calling even when facing opposition.
Trials as Formation: Challenges aren’t obstacles but opportunities to deepen faith and resilience.
Biblical Models: Leaders like David, Nathan, Habakkuk, and Jesus exemplify resilience under pressure.
Practical Resilience: Building rhythms of rest, reflection, and connection with God and community sustains leaders over time.
Book Summary
Be Different: Finding the Resilience to Lead explores how Christian leaders can develop the strength, courage, and inner stability to lead faithfully in a world full of pressures, challenges, and setbacks. Rather than conforming to cultural norms or burning out under stress, Howard argues that resilience comes from being deeply grounded in God’s design for leadership and cultivating an authentic sense of self.
The book identifies resilience as the defining quality that allows leaders to withstand trials, remain faithful to their mission, and continue leading with hope. It emphasizes that resilience is not just about grit or toughness, but about living from a secure identity in Christ and drawing strength from God’s presence.
Howard and Gross introduce the idea of “biblical differentiation of self”—knowing who you are in God, staying true to your values, and remaining steady in the face of criticism, conflict, or failure. This differentiation enables leaders to hold onto their purpose without being consumed by others’ expectations.
Be Surrendered: Finding the Maturity to Lead
Available in Paperback, Hard Cover, Kindle, and Audible Versions.
Key Themes
Book Summary
Maturity through surrender: Growth in leadership comes not from striving but from yielding to God’s authority.
Danger of ego-driven leadership: Pride and self-reliance erode both effectiveness and spiritual health.
Biblical models of surrender: Leaders like Moses and Paul matured as they learned to depend on God, not themselves.
Spiritual disciplines: Practices of surrender (prayer, fasting, Sabbath, confession) form leaders into Christlike maturity.
Servant leadership: True maturity is revealed in humility, service, and sacrificial love.
Book Summary
Book Summary
Be Surrendered: Finding the Maturity to Lead shifts to maturity, showing that true Christian leadership flows from a posture of surrender to God.
Howard and Gross argue that many leaders pursue success, influence, or recognition, but real maturity comes when a leader lays down their own ambitions and embraces God’s will, even when it requires sacrifice. Leadership, then, is not about control but about trust—trusting God’s plan, His timing, and His way.
The book explores the paradox of surrender: giving up self-centered striving actually produces greater strength, clarity, and fruitfulness in leadership. Through biblical examples (such as Moses, Paul, and especially Jesus), Howard and Gross show how surrender leads to wisdom, patience, and freedom from the anxieties that often weigh leaders down.
Be Connected: Finding the Hope to Lead
Available in Paperback, Hard Cover, Kindle and Audible Versions.
Key Themes
Hope is relational: It is sustained through deep connection with God and people.
The danger of isolation: Leaders who disconnect often lose hope and burn out.
Trust and empathy: Foundational to fostering hope within teams and communities.
Vulnerability as strength: Authenticity builds resilience and shared hope.
Community as a source of endurance: Hope multiplies in groups marked by belonging, shared vision, and mutual encouragement.
Book Summary
Be Connected: Finding the Hope to Lea highlights the role of connection—with God, with others, and with purpose—as the foundation for sustaining hopeful leadership.
Howard and Gross argue that leaders often face discouragement, isolation, and burnout, but hope is what keeps them pressing forward. Hope is not optimism or wishful thinking; it is a confident expectation rooted in God’s promises. And hope grows best in connection: connection to God’s presence, to authentic community, and to the leader’s calling.
Drawing from Scripture and real-life experiences, the book shows that leaders thrive when they cultivate relationships of trust, practice empathy, and create communities where belonging and purpose are shared. Hope emerges not in isolation but in fellowship. Leaders who stay connected to God and others can inspire hope in those they lead, even through conflict and difficulty.
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Chapter Summary
This chapter introduces the story of Petr, a gifted pastor who disappears after leaving a suicide note. His wife Jennifer, frantic and unsure where to turn, calls Alfonso, Petr’s best friend. Alfonso agrees to help and begins investigating what might have led Petr to such despair.
The chapter shifts from narrative to teaching, asking why some leaders implode under pressure while others remain resilient. The authors argue that the answer lies in biblical differentiation—a concept borrowed from psychologist Murray Bowen but reframed through Scripture.
Key Points
Differentiation is essential to resilience in leadership.
The book defines biblical differentiation as embracing your created self, re-created self, and self-in-relation.
Fusion (over-identifying with others) is the main obstacle to resilience.
Jesus is the model and means of achieving differentiation.
Scripture Verses for Additional Reading
Romans 5:2-5 – Rejoicing in suffering produces character and hope.
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Questions for the Group
How would you define “resilience” in your own words?
In what ways can a lack of spiritual and emotional resilience show up in a leader’s life?
What does “biblical differentiation” mean, and how is it different from just being strong-willed or self-confident?
Can you relate to Petr’s internal pressure to appear strong or successful? How so?
Reflection Questions
When have I felt like Petr—trapped, overwhelmed, or close to breaking?
Do I measure my identity by others’ opinions or by God’s truth?
In what ways do I struggle to be a “non-anxious presence”?
What would change in my life if I had greater inner stability?
Application
Reflect on a recent crisis or relational challenge. Ask:
Did I feel like my identity was threatened?
Did I react out of fear of disapproval or desire for approval?
Start journaling where your sense of self is rooted—God’s view or others’ opinions?
Personal Journaling
About Authors
Christopher S. Howard, PhD, is currently the Academic Vice President at LCC International University in Klaipeda, Lithuania. Before that, he was a Professor of Business Management and Leadership at Pfeiffer University in North Carolina for thirteen years. In addition to his teaching of undergraduate and graduate courses in leadership, followership, and group dynamics, he has conducted a line of research on leadership formation that includes hardships, resilience, and character. This follows extensive experience and service with youth and young adults through Acquire the Fire, Passion One Day, Lay Renewal Ministry, HIS Life Ministry and Young Life International where he served as a missionary for four years in Germany. Christopher holds a doctorate in philosophy in organizational leadership from Regent University, a master’s degree in business administration from Saint Louis University, and a bachelor’s degree in management from Carson-Newman University.
Rev. Andrew M. Gross is an associate pastor and elder of a thriving multi-ethnic church congregation in St. Paul, Minnesota. He came from his hometown of Portland, Oregon to the frozen tundra of Minnesota almost 30 years ago for college, the same year that an infamous Halloween snowstorm dumped 3 feet of snow on the Twin Cities. In that time he has served this congregation as youth pastor, children’s minister, Bible school teacher, small group leader and missionary to Ukraine. Andrew’s deepest passion for the church is to disciple women and men to be resilient Christian leaders of resilient, intercultural churches. He sees Biblical differentiation in Christ as the best path toward this type of resilient leadership. Andrew holds a Masters in Divinity from Bethel Seminary in Minnesota and a bachelor’s degree in Russian language from Macalester College in St. Paul.